There are good comments here, so Im not going to get into that. I agree, marriage counseling ASAP. At the beginning of the marriage endometriosis and disparei is, we spent almost an year without sex, I was always by her side, left the work early, never even thought about hookups or relief with other women. If it was truly an accident, she shouldn't keep talking about it, she should always just say "I fucked up in telling you that. I didn't enforce it, I didn't like it and it made me feel similarly to you. That was extra stupid. Yup. Youre not overreacting. Take some you time and work out where you are that's your starting point my man edit good luck. No pun intended. Acknowledge what you are going through sucks, don't judge it, & tell yourself the following: this is temporary. She should have known to do that herself beforehand. It's the typical "I'm in a perfect relationship but I overheard something that nobody would ever say out loud knowing I'm in the other room" scenario that gets done all of the time on here. Firstly: Even though it may be difficult: try and see this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. If I were OP, the answer to this would play a big part in how/whether I wanted to proceed in the relationship. I'm not saying she will, I don't know her and can't make that call. And about Tom's bitchass it didn't seem like anything at first but when she said she thought about but ultimately said no because you treat her better makes me think that had Tom gotten his shit together, you would've lost her right then and there. She also needs to put her friends in their place or look for better friends. This is divorce worthy. I would be so freaking upset & sad. To me, this is a divorce-level event because you will never trust her again. If you feel this can be fixed, try couples counseling, but honestly I only see this ending one way. Also sound out the wives who weren't judgemental and ask their opinions. Or do you think Ive misunderstood? Divorce. I mean the "I overheard my wife say something upsetting about me to her friends" genre is a little played out. Sounds like shes really sorry. That means she's been laughing about their sex life for a couple years, after outing him and then hiding it from him. Thats her game, and I suggest therapy and also congratulate you, my dude, on taking it so calmly. I'm sorry you're going through this but your wife is such a shit person man. I think you should try to work this out. I honestly don't know if your marriage can survive this. Fuck how you want to fuck. Also, if shes lying to you about this, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont know. German Young Boy Seduce Big Tit Step-Mom to Lost Virgin 16:20. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. You and your sexuality are valid and you deserve to be treated as such. A DAD whose wife and kids stopped talking to him because he was covered in tattoos says he has no regrets. What can you say or she say tomorrow? Why would she tell them you enjoy costumes? Do you love her more than anything? Especially the two narrow minded ones, All these comments already have good points, I just wanna add that you should definitely take your time. The fact she cares more about her homophobic friends opinions of her than her relationship with her partner says a lot. Shes not doing bi stuff with you in bed, she was initiating sexual acts that exist in all relationships, not bi-dating-straight. he was more "passionate" etc. Shitty situation man. Her calling it bi shit, begrudgingly doing it, thinking of someone else. How long has she been friends with them? She should immediately be defending you if they're bigots and jerks about your sexuality. Her motivation doesn't change that the fact that you deserve someone that stands up to their friends. Well he's not open about being bi so I'm pretty sure he does care about it. She feels bad for being caught. If you want to save your marriage and restore trust some sort of therapy is probably necessary. Personally I don't think it's bad enough to end a good relationship over but you should make it clear that trying to hide her mistake and belittling you to others to save her self from their scorn is both childish and cruel. People won't forget about it. I'm sorry you went through this. hey i mean, im not married, live with my bf and have 2 cats and a dog. Why does she feel the need to show off to her friends in a way that makes them think less of you? Watch your back op!! First off, sorry, if a man and woman are doing sexual things together, it isn't gay. Also arrange some couple counseling and talk it all through. If she had doubled down and defended herself and her friends, then that would be a break up situation imo. If it were me, I would let her know that she needs to consider how this would be handled if the roles were reversed. Take the space you need & honor your feelings. One day he throws a temper tantrum, and instead of talking with me about his insecurities, he goes off and tells everyone about it. Your wife is all kinds of an AH here. If you need more time to yourself, take it. Get used to me being stupid". She forced him out, and its time for her to join him. Not the act itself. You have every right to be pissed. Shes hurt you, she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you, has no doubts, and enjoys it herself. But she's obviously done it before - all her friends knew it was okay to discuss and laugh about while she joked about letting him do "gay" stuff while she fantasies about other men. I don't know what I'd do. And if it was an accident, why did she give them details about what kinks you have? If you find happiness, people may be jealous. I also really dont like how shes the one who initiates/etc yet was making fun of it?? Talk it out and see if she can commit to working on this need to put on appearances. Going forward, she needs to seriously consider what she says to her "friends" if she cannot say them infront of you openly. ( like nothing wrong with it but the fact ur so scretive about it speaks volumes, SHAME is an individual thing. Truly when you come to the realisation your partner has such a low view , I sympathise a lot with you dude. I got in my car and drove to my mom's house. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. He and I werent real close, but wed hang out here and there and always enjoyed one anothers company at get togethers and stuff. Im sorry dude but girlfriends have secrets and Im pretty sure that there are conversations youve had that youd be ashamed for your wife to have heard. You and your wife decided to marry each other. It was a private part of your life that you trusted her with. That is why we married each other. Do you believe what she told you? Or so that she wont identify you? Be honest anyway. Like who knows what other shitty conversations she participated in, especially since this isn't the first time they've expressed this kind of thinking. Are you being a bit harsh? She tells my wife that Tom is still handsome as ever (this doesnt bother me, I feel im just as good looking) and they all give a little chuckle before my wife says something that floored me.Tom had reached out to her right before we got married and wanted her to get back together with him. My identity was something I held tight to my chest for years. Your partner in crime fucked up. you'd be shocked but how many wives/girlfriends go into detail about their sex lives with their friends. If I was you I would demand you get into couples therapy, and make absolutely clear that the trust you had in her is gone and it is going to take time for that trust to be rebuilt. Being shitty is easy, being a good person is too Clearly choices have been made. Reading it, it definitely felt like she was saying stuff to fit in with judgy friends. I am so sorry. So many unnecessary details. I suggest therapy for you for your feelings and how you want the relationship to proceed. Also, your wife needs to drop her biphobic friends who are being a negative influence on her and you by proxy. Those so called friends are not real friends. She needs to understand that at least. You are both going to be have to go to couples therapy and individual therapy sessions. The simple fact of the matter is she shit talks you behind your back. If this is a hurdle you feel like you cant get past, then work on it. I never said a word to anyone because I knew how bad she felt about that. This is what I found out: She let my sexuality slip two years ago at a bachelorette party to her friends when she was completely shit faced and didnt remember till one of the girls made a joke about it and she freaked out and made them swear to never tell anyone she told them cause she knew how upset Id be. I think that sometimes both men and women have a form of locker room talk with their friends about topics that maybe they arent entirely truthful about with their friends in order to make them feel better. We may discuss, ask for suggestions, etc., but we don't laugh about one of us outing someone (not that we'd care) and trashing their sex life. Theres people that will truly respect you and love you the right way. I would never be able to fully be myself around my wife again after such an event, and to me that means there's just no way we can work anymore. I was pooping and you helped me push from laughing so hard. I am floored you are the only person who has pointed this out. I would 100% be considering divorce over this, if in OPs shoes. Seriously I have a whole lot of respect for you for how you reacted. So she made you the butt of their jokes eventho she actively takes part in your sexlife and enjoys it. When they reacted a little judgy then she may have backpeddled a bit. Also? She's painting an imaginary picture for these "friends" with absolutely no regard to the feelings of the person she's supposed to love & care for. From what Ive been told by friends and family my wife and Tom had a hot and cold volatile relationship and he was not the best to her (cheating, controlling). She was shitfaced when she admitted your sexuality, was pressured to mock your sexuality by her terrible friends, and she didn't actually mean to completely fucking demean you sexually. she also choose to make fun of you to her friends instead of standing up for you. This opens up two main issues, and a third tangential one, as follows: In the first scenario: She crossed a boundary and (un)consiously violated your trust. Right I mean she volunteered stuff when she could have kept her mouth shut. I told her she needed to answer everything I ask her honestly and she promised she would. She shouldn't be hiding things from you or telling people your personal stuff. She needs new friends what a bunch of assholes. I told her I was uncomfortable with it. People knowing that hes bi will damage his reputation? But it needs to be on your terms. For example, he keeps in touch with some of his exs and although it's his business he is always transparent with me because he know how I would feel if it was behind my back. Your wife definitely violated your trust by sharing that information with her friends. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. Which means wherever you gothere will be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering if people are judging you or talking shit about you behind your back, I'm not sure how you move forward in this situation but I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to, I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to. Would she still have the friends over knowing how they feel? Its unsettling that she would remain friends with people who dared to judge her in that way, and that she even tries to gain their approval by talking trash about the beautiful sex you two get to have together. Ugh. She shouldnt care what others think of her or you, let alone talk about you negatively behind your back. She's lying to you to save face. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. Anyone that believes stay for the kids has literally never had any experience as a kid whos parents stayed for them. No partner with a shred of empathy or decency would value the opinions of their friends over their partner's wellbeing. You two will need some couples counselling after this incident, and some of what you will do in the future will be decided by if you can overcome a natural feeling of anger and resentment that you feel. Thats so tough. Also, she could have been honest and told him what happened at the bachelor party, but instead she kept it a secret. And can think clearly. You can be pissed and hurt and angry for now and work on it. One of the guys who was there called me and I answered. They were basically talking about me (no one contacts me anymore, just my wife to commend her on how loyal she is despite having a douchebag loser husband), and I overheard her agreeing with the person on the phone. She lied about your sexual taste 3. Does she really think they dont laugh at her for doing bi things with you behind her back as well? If alcohol was involved the first time she told them, maybe she was talking about it because she wanted to get a read on how her friends would react. But what usually happens when one partner doesnt respect the other is that it festers. I'm sorry. I got halfway through before searching "fake" in the comments. Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. People are too quick to run away from a marriage and give up when issues come up. Even if it was a close call, you dont say that. Let her know how betrayed you feel. The bottom pine is you're supposed to be able to confide in her about these things and she's mishandled your trust. I found out that my wife is telling her friends about our private life, including details of our sex life, and even our infrequent arguments. Beer runs out so I head inside to grab more. I'm wondering if your lack of fighting in your communication may be related to her not being open and honest with you as you are with her. She chose to prioritize platonic bonds over her marriage and honestly just participated in casual homophobia at the expense of her husband. Before my wife was with me she dated a man named Tom. Especially since it contradicted her actions so much. He claims it was just he was not mature and never meant any of the terrible things he did. Oh buddy, I'm sorry you've had this happen to you. This issue has been going on and at each turn, she chose not to be honest with you. They will be lapping up the drama and pushing to be in the loop, believe me. The fact that her mindset even thinks doing things like anal play are bi tells me she probably has some internalized homophobia she needs to deal with. The slider to the patio from the kitchen is open. Marriage counseling needed. Whats the point in being in relationship, in a marriage if you can't have ALL of trust, loyalty, and respect. I just dont believe that all the people who have commented how awful your wife is, have never said things they regret. Wouldnt your wifes friend be able to identify you anyway from the story? I'd be worried what she would do if one or both of their kids are bi or gay. I am not straight, nor am I gay. Third, never fighting is surprisingly not a sign of a great marriage. Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. You can always tell when they offer up explanations to any potential objections before they're asked. Relationship therapy, lots of work, regaining trust. Sounds like there needs to be an understanding formed between you guys and what is appropriate conversation with friends. Then throw in this scenario that she was bisexual and the "boys" called her a "butch lesbian who doesn't really like dick.". No shit. There were 3 friends with her. This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Sorry if this is all over the place. It sounds like they were encouraging your wife and Tom to connect. Here are some examples: I know you and I have different views on sexuality, but I love my husband and will not stand to hear him be talked about in this manner., My husband is not gay, please stop insinuating he is. subject change, Yeah, I dont think thats funny. (Or just not laughing and keeping a stone cold face until the others get uncomfortable), Thats actually not your business, lets talk about something else., I am uncomfortable talking about this, lets talk about something else., Your wife gave into the toxicity of her friends and that doesnt make her a better person for it even if she really doesnt think that way. She needs to know that what she did was hurtful and unacceptable, and you deserve an apology not only from her, but from her fucking idiot friends too. Do you think she feels the same way about you?? Too many people on this app will read this and tell she can never be trusted again and you need to divorce. German Husband let Young Boy Fuck his Wife in Threesome 14:30. Don't ruin your relationship because of this. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Things that concern only you two she turn into an open truth and open truths she kept from you. She stopped criticizing after that. Thats some boomer logic about the sex binary of gay/straight. I couldn't stop laughing at the first sentence in your comment. I told this to my then partner with all the trust in the world. Sometimes they aren't strong enough to defend it. I'd be more open about your sexuality; if you've nothing to hide then the nasty wives have nothing to attack. She said that was why she made the comment about thinking about Tom during some things we do sexually because she felt they were judging her for being with me. Thats the shittiest advice you could give someone. Smoked. So will she keep acting to her friends like she has a problem with it? She should genuinely make amends for it and admit to your so called friends her hand in the situation! You are not overreacting. Yeah, all of those things are a painful betrayal. It takes a bigger person to take the high road, and most people are not. For that reason I would agree that you guys should talk about, counseling, or like I said, you reconsidering the relationship. Regardless, hilarious. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. Ngl bro the first halve is disrespect enough, you now know she keeps important shit to herself like Tom tryna derail your marriage and is at the same time comfortable sharing your personal life with her friends and entertaining her friends disrespecting you in your own home. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. i would like to add a partner should never ever make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your sexuality. She's just shown you that you can't trust her with your sexuality. I also pointed out that every single one of her relationships ended up being abusive so she had no right to tell me to leave my boyfriend when he'd never lay a finger on me. What she did was the lowest of the low and completely unacceptable. Suggest you stay away for a bit and do some thinking about what you want and whether its possible for her to mend this damage and that you can accept her behavior and forgive her. How could you ever trust this person again. No. I think that you need a good week to try and think about how you feel, how you're going to be able to contain the gossip and how you move forward with the wife . Their partners undoubtedly know about you. Also, the fact that she let her friends talk shit about him while she and OP are supposed to be in a happy marriage Damn, that says a lot. At 31 years old! When she answered I could tell shed been crying and was a wreck. 1) Your wife was so freaked she let the fact that you're bi slip out two years ago yet continues to discuss it with them? I agree with this comment as a bi person! You deserve better treatment from her. The only reason you know of this disrespect is because you accidentally heard them saying stuff behind your back? Dont let your wifes shitty behavior ruin your confidence and self worth. ! for a few minutes. I feel for you and wish you the best. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. Yeah, I'm a married woman. How much more reassurance do you need? Taking a sensitive topic like sexuality and using yours in a way to demean you just so she can get a chuckle from her friends is unacceptable. So no being friends with intolerant halfwits, and no more alcohol. She not only outed him, but this obviously wasn't the first time they've discussed this. Is she going to listen to her friends claim that you being bi has somehow swayed them? Winston Churchill At a minimum she should have come clean about the bachelorette party thing the moment it happened. Couples counseling could help. The women were all on the patio outside. No matter how many close and loving moments you have with your wife from this point forward, in the back of your mind youre gonna remember how easily someone -who you thought you were on the same team with- can piss all over that idea in exchange for making a few girls go no way?! It's not infidelity but to me it sounds just as fucking bad. Try marriage counseling and perhaps moving away for a new start. I would divorce my husband if he let his friends make comments about my sexuality, and then proceeded to say he fantasized about other women during sex. Normally I'd say you have to share it but I'm not sure what that looks like. She broke your trust, plain and simple. If you can't own up to what you're doing in the bedroom, you aren't mature enough to be doing it. b- for creative writing, but this is total BS. Your wife is a cowered. Be open with her. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. You need a therapist to help you process what you're feeling, you need to process that in your time and she needs to fucking wait for you to do it if she really cares about you. Your sexual relationship is basically the basis of trust in your relationship as a whole. Its one of the biggest consequences to a pushover personality and if she wants to get back on OPs good side/have a better go with a different relationship, shes gotta level up on her backbone first.

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